Recently, someone I know had requested me to be a listening ear to a very sensitive issue that this person was facing. I listened and listened and listed a few questions for this person to answer.
When one is going through struggle and misery of any sort, especially if it is a circumstance that has shocked them, they are in dire need for direction, guidance, reassurance, affirmation, sometimes solution and emotional support.
It has dawned upon them that their circumstance will affect them negatively and they feel helpless, depressed, distressed and vulnerable at this time. Their heads are filled with scenarios and new information that most of the time, give them a feeling of lost and anxiety.
The solution to this person’s misery is based on the answers this person has decided on.
Not all problems are solvable or manageable BUT almost always it is Figure-outable (as what beautiful Marie Forleo’s mama always says to her) and once you FIGURE IT OUT…..the rainbows start flooding in.
1) Acknowledge and Understand the issue
Once you recognize what it is that brings all this misery into your life, you’re half way there my friends
2) Understand and know what YOU want
When you are able to fully comprehend what makes YOU happy , what satisfies YOUR hunger, what drives YOU to feel worthy and alive, love and respected, it’s easier to know what path you should take and work on achieving and following that route to Happiness
3) Find out what is the best resolution, in the case that it involves ANOTHER PERSON because what you decide affects others too
We know that we can’t win it all and sometimes it leads to a bitter and undesired ending especially if the solution affects the other person more than you. Know how it will affect you and others. Talk it out to find a peaceful resolution. You can’t help it if the other person isn’t “steady” enough to accept reality but you can manage YOURSELF and work on your own steadiness especially if the solution affects YOU more than the other person
4) List out the possible solutions and the consequences (know the intensity and capacity of the consequence of your solution, especially if it involves others)
List all scenarios, the pros and cons of each solution and it’s definite consequences. You’ll be clearer to see it on paper, something like drawing out a life path. Keyword to this is, keep it SIMPLE. Don’t be too complicated on your list. Start with the hardest and end with the easiest. You’ll feel more relaxed and less overwhelmed with confusing “but what ifs”.
5) DECIDE on the solution,what you know needs to be done. (if it involves another person, find a common ground, reach the closest agreeable solution and work consciously to solve it)
Categorize the solution on its tangibility first.
Is the solution something Physical ? Like an action that you need to start DOING. Is it Emotional ? Connect with your self and understand what makes you or breaks you. How about Spiritual ? Like a need for self worth and clarity in Life. Or is it Mental? Like a changing state of mind that will shift your consciousness to a level beyond whatever you’ve ever dreamed of or currently understand.
When you recognize which category it falls in, you can list out the methods of achieving it and start working on the solution you’ve decided on.
6) Make peace with your decision and don’t look back.
Never regret your decision because once, it was the very thing that seemed like the right thing to do, so why would you regret? There’s really no reason to.
Whatever your choice, stick with it and know that it was always for the better of things and it could have been worse.
7) Accept the consequences by embracing it FULLY.
Which means if it’s going to be ugly, you need to face it, deal with it full force and go all the way till you reach the pot of Gold at the end, which is your very own Happiness. Don’t half ass the embracing part. Accept it like taking an exam. Go all the way and just do your very best at managing it. You CAN do it!
8) Start rebuilding, reconstructing and living life with intention and consciousness.
Oh this is the best part. Reconstructing, redesigning, crafting, molding, reorganizing, polishing and revamping YOU, is the best part about coming out of the Business of Misery.
When you know what YOU want, when YOU are clear of your potentiality, when YOU are fearless in facing adversities and when YOU start LOVING YOU and TRUSTING YOU and have Faith in Yourself and the Al-Mighty, knowing that you will NEVER sabotage yourself to live a life of misery again, life will be so beautiful, meaningful and intense that you are able to freeze time, relive unforgettable moments and unlock the key to Happiness.
There is a way to overcome this misery you face. The way to a beautiful life, a life that you really do love.
It IS possible, trust me, I’m living it.