5 Simple Ways to Be Ahead In Life

We all want to know the secret to a better Life. Here are my own personal life hacks ! Let’s get down to it.

1. Recognise and Understand your Identity

Quite simply put, you’ve got to know who you are and what role you play in society. A lot of people still don’t know what they want to be when they grow up (even at 40) . To answer this, you’ve got to know who you are, your very purpose of being alive and applying what you know, your talents and your skills into something that you truly love and are passionate about. What would you, as an individual, like to contribute to the World?

2. Invest In Yourself

If you have the time and the means, why not go further than what you already know. Why not learn about several industries? Reading books and articles of educational content can and will help you in many areas of your life.

Don’t spend too much time watching YouTube videos that don’t contribute to your mental growth. Once in awhile it’s ok but not 90% of your time. Your time is precious.

Enhance your super human power and nourish your brain. This way, you’ll learn about things that your spouse or circle of friends might not know about. You could be a contributor, a mentor or a good friend. Isn’t it phenomenal to be an asset.

Stun everyone by being a sponge for information and you might just be the spine or core foundation of the development of a group of people or communities. Your boss won’t be able to help it but give you a raise, given your smarts. And don’t be surprised that you’ll be head hunted by major companies who love a person of knowledge and experience.

3. Mix with the right Crowd

If you are picky when buying clothes or finding a life partner, then by all means do the same with friends. You got to know this from the start. The things you talk or think about reflects much on who you’ve been hanging out with and the things you surround yourself with.

You need a crowd that enhances and builds your character. People who know your flaws and love you anyway. People who will tell you about your faults and who care to mould and develop you. People who correct you in a loving and appropriate manner are the ones that value you as a person and they are the ones who would love to see you succeed in Life.

With this, if you are too sensitive and egotistical to accept correction and take it with a pinch of salt then I’m afraid, it’s a road to your spiritual Doom.

You aren’t able to grow as a human if you don’t want to learn from your mistakes and weaknesses.

You also need friends who aren’t just critical of your well being but who, at the same time are your ever dying cheerleaders and supporters.

If you have friends (whether in the same cliques or not/even individuals) from all walks of life, backgrounds and race, you’d learn the different types of Worlds people actually live in.

You’ll get the first hand download of different perspectives and viewpoints. If you find a group of friends that love to succeed together as a group with no envy or competition , then that’s your A-team right there. Grow and succeed together, like they say

“Birds of a feather flock together.” Or what I’d like to say to my own friends “ We wolves run in packs.”

4. Be your Own Competition

I’ve encountered a few trolls in my Life. And guess what they spend the most time on?

Trolling…. me.

They’ve trolled my websites, social media platforms and even trolled my friends and loved one. They spend all that time, searching and wanting to know my every movement, whether I’m succeeding in all aspects of Life, whether I’ve become ill or poor, or have I rotted away into the dim lights of a writer’s demise. And the funny thing is, this person is trying to compare our successes to show the people who she wants to win votes from, how successful she is and how I’m not.

Haha.

Classic example of “Don’t know how to value one’s time”. If you have to compete and compare, do it to your own Self.

Be better than who you were last month, last week or even the day before. Self reflection is gifted to the Seekers (those who seek purpose and Light).

Be your own Competitor and challenge yourself to score better at whatever you could be better at. You have to follow your own pace and use your own gauge. If you’ve got someone to chase, chase the You that’s 10 years from now. Chase the wiser and more equipped you. I learned that from Matthew McConaughey . You’ve got to watch this clip of his acceptance speech, major Jedi of Light moment.

5. Have a Grateful Mindset about Life

I quote an example that I’ve personally experienced.

I used to be with someone who was the poison that was created from the lava of deceit and evil, then it settled as molten rock in the core of his character (insert dramatic interlude) .

Whenever you mentioned his name, no one had anything good to say about him. He became like the Voldemort of Mankind, affecting the peace of humanity and all God’s creations. ( I assure you this dramatic intro is only touching the surface of the real drama that actually happened – rolls eyes)

When I was with this person, there was never a day that he was grateful about his Life.

He was never happy with whoever and wherever he worked at. He always had something bad to say about everything. He spoke ill of his friends, his colleagues, his bosses and even his internal and external family members.

Imagine me having to share my life with such a dark heart.

It was mentally and spiritually exhausting and he didn’t really care about how he made me feel or how he projected himself.

He was all about himself. Me!me! Me! That was his motto. If some how or rather the thing he’s pursuing didn’t benefit him ultimately, he’ll ignore it like the tissue stuck on the back of your boot.

He spits at the very mention of your name (insert another dramatic interlude).

If he was amongst people who cared for his development in character, like what his former Best Friend tried to do for him, he would turn them away and then spoke ill of them for trying to correct his flaws.

To him, he had no flaws that needed another person to influence him to change. Well, we all don’t know the type of person he has become now. Let’s just pray that that’s in the past.

The point I’m trying to make is, if you aren’t grateful about your Life, then you will never attain 3 things.

A) True Happiness

B) Spiritual Maturity and

C) An Honest Peace of Mind

So let’s recap.

1. Recognise and Understand your Identity

2. Invest in Yourself

3. Mix with the Right Crowd

4. Be your Own Competition

5. Have a Grateful Mindset about Life

I hope these tips opened your eyes to everything around you. Do some Lifestyle and Habit Housekeeping. Keep yourself in check. And you’ll definitely be “Living a Life You Love” in no time.

Happy Weekend Everyone !!!

⁃ LM

How to recuperate after work or school? 

So I’ve not been writing so brilliantly lately cos I have been so busy with reorganizing my Life. A lot of articles are still pending and not properly drafted yet.

But just to keep it still running, I’ve decided  to write this one after being inspired by a friend Ujala Shujat’s recent question in our Lavendaire Community.

Here’s some tips on how you could relax and recuperate after a hard day’s work or after a long mentally exhausting day learning and studying.

If you’ve been learning and studying your mind off , you’d most probably get burnt out pretty fast by the end of the week.

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image via: youtube.com Mariana’s Study Corner

1) To not be too burnt out studying, Mariana’s Study Corner on YouTube has very good study routines and prepping for note taking etc. She makes it fuss free and her journals are beautiful. This is good for any student I believe.

2) Download this app called Relaxed Melodies. It has relaxing sounds for sleep or for busy people who just need some white noise in the background.

Tide another app is good for time keeping with sounds of a bustling cafe atmosphere and other nature sounds too. You could power nap for 20mins and the sound will end and set off a small alarm to tell you your time for the task, is up.

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image via: youtube.com Millie Freckles
3) Millie Freckles is another YouTuber who makes me feel so relaxed as her videos are done simply and there’s a calm tone in her voice that’s always good to hear after listening to harsh sounds or voices. This link is on one of her tips about traveling in Kyoto. She’s Japanese and oh such a sweet gal, freckles and all. It’s uniquely Millie. I LOVE LOVE LOVE her !

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image via: Channel News Asia

4) Types of videos that keep me relaxed is watching the Muji Channel. They showcase their products in short demo clips. It’s usually 3-6 mins in length, no commentary, just soothing background music, very light and airy feels. It portrays a Japanese style of Muji living …it’s soooO relaxing.

Ok ok, maybe I just love the simplicity of the Japanese way of living. Have you seen the Last Samurai ? Haha I wish I could live in that village. It’ll be my little piece of Heaven on Earth.

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image via: thesamuraiofjapan.blogspot.com

5) Stimulate your senses with beautiful visuals of a fashion show or looking at magazines, movies you love to watch, even get your stomach muscles straining by sitting through comedy episodes. My favorite is definitely F.r.i.e.n.d.s!!! But of course second to that would be Big Bang and Will & Grace.

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image via: fashionisers.com

6) Listen to an ASMR playlist of your liking.

What is ASMR you may ask ? It stands for Autonomous Sensory Meredian Response, or ASMR for short. It acts as an auditory stimuli that make your skin tingle. Check it out and you’ll know what I mean.

There are a variety of ASMRs to choose from and some might even be too awkward for my personal taste, they do compare it to auditory-tactile synesthesia, whatever that means..ahaha.

One that you might find less awkward with is titled Oddly IKEA an IKEA USA initiative, find this on Youtube, where else.

image via : news.com.au and http://www.patheos.com

7) Maybe music will help. The relaxing kind like  Lonely nights Chillstep. It’s an hour of smooth chill ambience sounds on the Pulse 8 YouTube channel. Check out their other chill music playlists, I guarantee won’t disappoint you.

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Well, I hope you find these tips helpful to getting your mind relaxed and calm. I face a lot of pressure too with the things that are going on in my Life. This is what everybody faces. It’s good to know how to just step back and take a breather so that your Mind won’t be too overwhelmed at the end of the day.

Live a Life You Love People!

-LM

Who Needs A Staycay!!!

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1. Tiong Bahru has got lots of nice quaint cafes. A cafe hopping experience and some unique artful shops will definitely gain your fancy.

Being dominantly a Chinese community, you’ll be spoiled for choice at Tiong Bahru Market on a nice Sunday morning.

They are also lots of boutique hotels and tons of Airbnb apartments that provide areas of amenities that is more than enough for you to enjoy your stay.

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2. Walking tours in Singapore. Now there are those that are free which you can find out from hotels (just walk into any hotel and ask the concierge) or take the walking tours that you have to pay for.

TheOriginalWalkingTours 

This link is the most updated website I could find on some free walking trails. The kind policy is to tip your guide, of course. Read on and find a walk that best suits you.

Singapore&Beyond

Another website is Singapore & Beyond. I’m not too sure if it’s updated content so do drop them an e-mail if you’d like to book a tour. It’s in the link given.

WalkingTrailsSingapore at visitsingapore.com

This site gives you a wide selection of choices of neighbourhoods to explore. You can do this on your own. Just download a map of the neighbourhood or have it in hand for you to enjoy every hidden corner of our beautiful Singapore.

3. One place to stay nearer to the central areas like Dhobyghaut and Prinsep St, is Hangout@Mt Emily on Mount Emily Road. It is a no frills hotel that has bunks big enough for 6-8 friends, a small family of 4 or a queen size bed for one or two. Comfy and clean.

They have a nice activities room on the first floor, they play movies in the “living room space” (communal space) in some evenings which is nice to relax in if there’s no families running around.

There’s a roof top relaxing area too that overlooks the park below. From my experience, it’s usually quiet in this hotel. Some rooms that are communal have shared bathrooms and shared laundry rooms on certain floors. One bedders have their own bathroom but there is no Tv or mini bar. It’s no frills totally.

image via : budgethostels.sg and travellettes.net

Day: A day out in Singapore, you could take a walking tour of your own through Chinatown.

Start walking from Tong Heng Pastries (pic below) all the way up to Ann Siang Hill Park. A nice quiet area that leads you all the way down to Amoy St and Cross St. Walk through the neighbourhoods and enjoy some old school Singapore atmosphere.

Night: Ann Siang Hill has interesting cafes, bars and restaurants. Ann Siang hill, Erskine road and Duxton Hill has tons of night life. These areas are also known for the gay communities to gather and socialise.

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image via : Google Maps

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4. If you’re interested in the Arab quarters, which is the Arab St area, you could explore “Dinner in the Dark” just for a fun night out.
On weekends, Haji Lane and the Bussorah St areas have their roads closed for street bazaars, food markets and block parties. If you want to chill and not get rowdy, “Going Ohm” on Haji Lane has a nice earthly and meditative atmosphere. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to see two magnificent looking dogs that the two owners sometimes bring out on the street.
“I AM Cafe”  @ Haji Lane is a must visit after a long day of walking or do try “Working Title” too, these are burger joints that have amazing shakes. So much to do on a weekend in the Arab quarters.

image via: withloveyuting.blogspot.sg

On certain months, Aliwal Arts Centre has a Night Crawl, a walkabout around town that showcases art, music and food. There are a lot of free activities during these Crawls.

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image via: aliwalartscentre

4. The National Design Centre (Bugis area) is a nice place to hang out too. They showcase local budding artists and sell their products to the public, like fashion and books. This is the Kapok store.

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image via: rockthetrend.com

5. The old Illuma Mall or presently known as Bugis+(plus) has Filmgarde, a nice cinema that makes you feel like you’re buying movie tickets in downtown LA’s Arclight Cinema. It’s not that big but it’s a nice change of air than the usual GV or Cathay. They even have a small roof top park, if I’m not wrong.

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image via: the Vulcan Post

Here’s a movie ticket purchase cheat sheet by the Vulcan Post on Singapore’s Cinemas .

6. The National Library (which is across the street from Bugis+) has activities too. Check out their website for details. At level 5, there’s a study lounge that you can sit and read a book (there are food and drinks vending machines inside) and enjoy a day to yourself. Just outside the lounge, there is a quiet sheltered sky garden that overlooks the Intercontinental Hotel at Bugis Junction.

image via: researchgate.net and goodyfeed.com

7. The F1 is in town, check out what activities or happenings they have at Fort Canning Park. I’m sure there’s something. Hehe.

8. Go to the National Gallery of Singapore. Look at what’s worth to queue for. Most exhibits are really a good deal to see. And there’s a restaurant/bar at the terrace upstairs, overlooking the Padang. Lovely for night views. Call them to ask if the roads at the NGS are affected by the F1 event (this is for any year that the F1 is in town, in September), the Gallery is situated nicely above the tracks.

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image via: asiabars.com

9. Since you’re already in City Hall, Muji’s biggest store is there !!! Go Japanese and have a dessert after shopping inside. Shop and eat, what more can you ask for.

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image via: sg.asia-city.com

10. Visit the Central Fire Department which is also at City Hall, it’s an old Fire House that hosts vintage Firemen memorabilia.

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image via: goingplacessingapore.sg

Do visit the SCDF website for details.

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image via: airbnb

11. East Coast has an Airbnb that hosts Glamping. You should check it out on airbnb.com.sg (but look at the weather schedule too) for those extremely hot Aug- Sep summers and monsoon Novembers, I suggest not. Bring and use waterproof and light clothing to prepare for adverse change in weather. It is romantic though.

12. Punggol/ Pasir Ris has Coney Island, a warm walk inside from Pasir Ris side will get you to the other side of the walking trail at Punggol. The Punggol side has bicycle, roller blades and buggy rentals AND there’s a ranch if you’d like to ride a horse :). There’s a bus stop on the Punggol side (bus 84 from Punggol Interchange- 6 stops and drop after the bus u-turns) but from the Pasir Ris side you’ve got to get a cab to get to the Coney Island entrance.

image via : 99.co , expedia.com.sg and 55555sg.wordpress.com

Coney Island is a confined walking trail within a gated area. It usually closes at 7pm.

There are a lot of awesome places like neighbourhoods and local eateries you are yet to explore. Singapore is a tiny island but it’s an island that I really do love to explore and I’m still not done exploring.

If you have any ideas about what a good staycay is in Singapore, do write in to me at sendlove.leoni@gmail.com and I might just put up your writing to post.

Enjoy your staycay everybahhdeyyy!!!

-LM

Showing Love To My Readers 

Today I’m showing my gratitude and love to all those who have shown me love and kindness. The thing that makes my day is when I unexpectedly meet with one of my readers.

To those who were strangers and now are my friends, you who came up to me to say hello or give a hug, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To those who have understood my messages and could relate to my articles, I’m thanking You, You , You and also You. Thank you for supporting my craft by subscribing and following. Thank you for the emails and letters and gifts.

You inspire me the most and it is because of you folks that I continue doing what I do. May God bless you in this Life and the next.

Jazak Allah Khairan to all.

Fii Amaanillah.

Peace Be Upon You

-LM

The Calm

If so this would be breakfast 

to calm the tired hearts…
those with tired eyes and 

tired working parts. 
A steady blissful journey,

we can not really be,

for there’s much to learn yet 

not enough for all our Life to see. 
So be at pace ,don’t paper chase ,

but seek for knowledge much in haste,

for time waits for no man 

neither does the Death that waits… 
-LM

Gyuniku and that Ramen Stall

It has been a Japanese food binging week for me and some of my friends. From one plate of sushi to a sashimi platter to a bowl of ramen, my taste buds have been conquering Japanese cuisine and it’s going for more. 


I must say though that there’s not much choice for halal Japanese food here in Singapore. But! But but…. I am glad to say that of all the places (which is not many hahaha) that I’ve tried, the winner is The Ramen Stall at 787 North Bridge Road.


I love this grilled beef on rice dish. Loving my gyuniku ! It’s $7.90 per plate of three pieces but man, it’s fresh and sweet. I guess you’ve got to suck it up when it comes to paying for this. I usually just order 1 plate and it’ll satisfy me for days. Maybe worth a try for beef lovers. Oh and the sushi platter was so fresh. It just melted in my mouth. 

The staff were proactive on the inside of the restaurant but you’ll feel a little neglected if you sit at the al fresco area. I think it’s because we were under the watchful eye of a supervisor that made sure that everyone got their food and drinks. Al these were topped up actively without customers having to call them to ask but when we switched dining areas, you tend to see the shift in attentiveness. 


If you love edamame, then one plate is more than enough for three people. It got us so full, I couldn’t move for a while.


One of the highlights of the evening was the soft serve yoghurt dessert. No chocolate fudge as shown in the commercial haha but still good to have after dinner. We needed to wind down after a hearty meal, so we chatted for hours till it’s time for us to call it quits. Though the restaurant opens late 5pm, it typically closes at 6am. So all you night crawlers can come down to have a sushi supper or early ramen breakfast. 

Who did we become after the storm?

If we did not come out better than what we began with, then we must sit and reflect some more even if it took us years to overcome this misled. 
We must tell ourselves, I want to be better for the good of Mankind and because it is right. 

The seeds that we grow in our hearts, the things that we speak about, the things we try to influence our friends and our families ….MUST always be in good faith. Not to lead them astray. 


Do not spread hatred or ill intentions or cause jealousy amongst companions, for if you do, it will return to you more than what you sow and then you must prepare for it. 

Retribution.

Do not harm others with the intention of hurting. It is always to defend.

Defend what you must, in a respectful manner even in the eyes of your enemy. 

Speak to them patiently first, with the intent to find a resolve not to dissolve their egos.

Nor destroy their reputation EVEN if that was their initial intention towards you. 

Defend what you must in an honorable way until you have to take arms. And then the weapon is, the word of their ugly Truth

Then you are allowed to be BOLD, then you can RAISE your voices when all peaceful ways have fallen on deaf ears. 

This is to kill the arrogance in their Hearts. 

It will return to you one way or another, ten folds by a million.

That is why, you must always do your best, to do …
good. 

-LM

(Click on the link Truth to see what a defender of Truth could say) 

Will traveling help you heal from a Heartbreak? 

In the millions of heartaches that I’ve experienced myself, traveling solo will do only ONE thing. 

It will make you LEARN. 


I have met one or two persons that have traveled to mend a broken heart. And recently, a friend had asked me personally, “How to heal from a broken Heart?” . He had decided to travel in order to heal. 

I told him otherwise. Travel, is the path you take to understand Yourself. Not to forget an unrequited love.

Once you understand Yourself, you will be able to fully comprehend, why certain things keep happening to you? Maybe the same patterns keep recurring, like disappointments or heartaches or mismatches…etc.

To get over a Heartache is not through traveling. 

It is in the Acceptance that Mankind should ultimately love Him first and surrender the decision on who is the best for us, to Him. “Jodoh itu Rahsia Tuhan” (Your Soulmate is God’s Secret). 

It may seem like you aren’t living a fulfilling and fair life to yourself because you’d like to be in love with the person that you WANT versus a person that you NEED. 

I know…it’s tough to find solace in such “sad” circumstance, it’s hard even for me to say it. But once you UNDERSTAND who you are and know your Purpose, LOVE will be given to you automatically and it’ll be given in abundance, that you’ll be spoiled for choice. It may even cause you confusion, cos there are so many suitors to choose from. 

Know who You are first. Your reason and purpose on this Earth. Then the person gifted to you, will come. And most times, you won’t fall in love or be in love with them…BUT you definitely learn how to love them through time or see love in them eventually, and they will possess almost all the criteria that fits your own character. The perfect match of two dualities. A match that no human hand is able to craft. 

I can say this because I’ve lived through it. 

Traveling solo is the door to a journey of Understanding Self. Every travelers experience will be different. Because it depends on what The Al-Mighty, wants you to see/experience. 

But because you seek something , whether it’s love or peace or calmness, the Seeker will be given Knowledge. What that Knowledge may be, is different for everyone. 

You will meet a person or persons that will be the ones that give you the answers to questions that you don’t know you actually have …. your awareness level will be heightened. 

So does traveling help you heal ? No. Traveling, helps you understand.

To get over Heartache…is only one way. 

Be friends with Time.

-LM

How to beat writer’s block for song writing

So I’ve been writing songs/lyrics since I was 11. And I remember playing this game when I was 17. I was hanging out with someone who lived at Tanglin Halt. And we used to take these long train rides from Bedok to Commonwealth on every other day that we used to meet. So to burn out our boredom, I invented this game called ” 3 Words”.

This is how you play it.

writers_blockimage by Gary Ewer

“3 words”
1) You could reel in as many players as you want. You could go round robin if you’re in a band, it’s good bonding and practice.
2) Each player takes turn to challenge the other on creative writing.
3) First, you have to ask your challenger to choose a category. Commercial, Story or Song.
4) And once the category is chosen, you have to come up with 3 words to give to your Challenger.
5) With these 3 words, your Challenger has to come up with a short commercial, a story or song that uses these 3 words.

6) The trick is to use the most outrageous and unconnected words so that it’s difficult for your Challenger to come up with material that flows.

7) The one with the best creative brainstorming wins the round. No points given, just creative credit.

 

You’d be laughing your head off when you hear what your friends come up with.

You should watch this entertaining clip I found today on Coldplay , playing something similar on a BBC radio show. Chris Martin is so bloody talented.

Well, there are many other ways to get inspired and motivated when it comes to song writing. Like falling in lovebreaking-up, starting a revolution and taking in as much culture and Life experiences as you can. That’ll start those creative juices amalgamating again, I can assure you. But I guess I’m going for the more direct, less time consuming and less tedious way of jump-starting the engine.

“Always find simple creativity in the stillness of monotony and you won’t go a day without laughing. ” -LM

Have an awesome start of the week!

Love and Live well.

Stay cool.

 

The Difference Between Constructive and Abusive Criticism 

Negativity. It’s everywhere, in every form, creed, color , race , age, kind and style. It lives in many stories and events and come out as either a life changing experience or a life long traumatic memory. It plays small roles and sometimes are the star of the night. 


So how can we differentiate between abusive criticism from a constructive one? 

Simple. 

Constructive Criticism (Good/Positive)

1) Anyone that provides you information or tips on improving yourself as a person, is constructive.

2) Any person that helps to develop your skills, in a way of coaching, mentoring or counseling, is constructive.

3) Anyone who scolds you to a point of making you realise that your bad habits need to change, is constructive criticism.

4) Anyone who bothers to build you into a better human being and spends time on moulding you by weeding out your bad ways, is constructive criticism.

Who are usually the people who would give you these criticisms? Yes. You know them very well. Your elders, your peers, your Best Friend, your spouse, your loved ones, your older siblings, a teacher, some friends, a wise acquaintance or neighbor, relatives, your bosses, supervisors and most importantly your Parents. 

The latter is also true about abusive criticism. They are also the same group of people that will give you negative criticism. 

Abusive Criticism (Bad/Negative) 

1) A person who uses harshness in words or physical actions to make you feel less of your self and demean you. That’s abusive.

2) A person whose aim is to belittle and demoralize you to a point of self hate/self loathing. That’s abusive. 

3) A person who gives “jealousy” type of comments or a “hater” perspective to the things you do. That’s negative.

4) A person who says something to discourage you from doing something that improves you, that’s negative. 

And as I said above, they are the same group of people who will make you feel bad about yourself and underachieving. 

So listen out for the differences and be aware of who you keep close as friends or loved ones. It’ll become a poisonous relationship and that could be the cause of many negative and horrible things in the future. 

Stay Woke! 

Love yourself. Be a better You. For a better World.

-LM