How to vouch for someone’s character? A true account.


Image: posterimageart.com

Back in the day, a century years old, people would entrust some individuals to certain duties, treasures and privacies. 
Now before handing over these great responsibilities, the character of the person they would like to entrust these privacies to, must first be vouched for. 

Unlike the modern day man, where we have the freedom to post online pictures that may lead others into believing that “it’s all good” or “I have a perfect life” side of the story, the citizens of the human past did not have such luxury of being fake or creating a facade of an image and be, what we call “keyboard warriors” in their time. They couldn’t easily decieve people by posting a picture of their “SUCCESS” when everyone around them know and are witness to their life. 

A picture now posts a thousand tales online, one great example is the mainstream media. People in the past couldn’t hide who they were unless their accomplices spill the beans on them, which by the grace of God, people found out.


Image: memegenerator.net

They had to rely on other people’s testimony about them.

You see, to find out who one truly is, the fairness would have to come from asking around people who actually knew him/her. And not only would they have to ask your friends and families but they have to even ask their enemies. It’s more just to hear both sides before you make a decision, that’s how the court of law works too, you know. 

In all fairness, to get the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth, look into their past, ask witnesses, and also check with their present references. People who know them in the recent present time. Ask their teachers, the people they worked with, their accomplices and their true best friends and see who they have removed in their life and ask them why. 

People who have stayed with them the longest (whether they’re still in their life or not) would have known “who they were and who they’ve become” basing on the timeline.

When you get information about a person, always ask where the source of that information is from. It has to come from a non bias point of view, a one that is factual. If it comes from hear say then it will only be a crime towards another to make accusations. 

Only if it came from the “horses mouth”, from the guts of the bull and glory of non bias people who gave it more thought, and who have done their own homework and fact finding, will you then be able to fully believe what you “hear” about the person to be true.


image: wisegeek.com

A person’s character is vouched in this way: 

1) Friends who grew up with them and who were with them from young to adulthood, would know the core of the character of a person. Which means if your core character was aggressive, rude and temperamental, most probably the core character of that person is a negative and/ or capable of violence, deception and corruption. Now these are only some examples and very subjective, being said that not all temperamental people are deceptive, mind you. 

If the core characteristics of a person is gentle, kind hearted, thoughtful and loving, most probably their core character is of a healer and peace maker, also subjective to individual accounts because it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re good throughout.

2) To be more accurate, seek out those who were their accomplices or who were witnesses to their acts of deception or kindness , they can give you a more clear evidential account of the person’s said character.

3) Make your own investigation on accounts from the people involved in “this person’s” life, be it people they’ve hired before, people who worked with them or for them, person’s they were married to or were involved with, people who weren’t so close but knew them at a distance good enough to recognize and remember “this person’s” character from school or past jobs (examples). You will see that if too many people point out to you that their experience with the said person was a bad one, and they know them to be hypocritical, low self esteem or whatever the character may be, the accuracy of whatever that you’ve ever heard from people will then be correct.

If you stay within the comforts of people who are bias and filled with hatred and revenge, you won’t be able to get a true account of the person you need vouching for.

At the end of the day, it’s easy to say “don’t judge people”, which sounds ridiculous because we have to place a fair and good judgement about the people we would like to be around with and who we can place our trust in. 

If we did not “judge” based on characters, habits and experiences, we would still be talking to a lot of people we wouldn’t want in our lives anymore, right ? Which sounds contradictory if you are a person who loves to misuse this word “Judge” and make unnecessary empty comments. 

If “judging” was a bad thing, there will be no law. There will be no “beauty competitions” or Award for Best Writer or Entrepreneur of the Year. 

We can and should judge, WHEN IT IS REQUIRED TO MAKE A FAIR AND SOUND decision on what’s good and what’s not good for one’s own well being or for the better good of the World. Unless you feel that good is good and bad is also good, then I can’t help solving people with a walking contradiction latched on their brain cells.

Now we shouldn’t “judge” when or if our thoughts are not beneficial to a greater good, if it’s only a difference of opinion or conflict of interest, then you shouldn’t judge. If you’re judging for the sake of hating and discrimination then you shouldn’t judge. All of us have flaws and to err is only human and everyone has a right to an opinion or state of understanding. Ok we’ve digressed. 

Ok let’s go back to “how to vouch for a person’s character?” I’ll give you a true account on what happened to me.

So my aggressor decided to play the “good guy” by telling a two-man panel of counsellors that he is a pious man who influences his “wife” to attend religious classes that he brought her to. 

With so much confidence in spewing a lie, he continued to explain how he sends her there so that she stops sinning etc etc. He also make known that he goes to the classes together with her in hopes to influence her in a good way. But little did he know, that the establishment actually has a kept record of attendance of everyone who walks in for the class. 

I explained to the counsellors that they will only find two of his signatures there because he only attended twice (it is a 4-8 weeks course depending on what you’re studying) even though it was I who paid for both of us and who tried to convince him to attend and not the other way around.

He also forgot the fact that a witness to this account was his very good friend,  whom he sat down with at the coffee house, that was opposite of where the class was held and that instead of attending, he was hanging out there till the class ends. 

This was just one of the many acts of deception that was found out through witnesses and actual evidence. Well of course, he kept quiet after being debunked of his wordplay. So we left it at that, there was no point going on further.

Always remember, you are a living breathing testimony of what you serve out to others. Be it hatred or kindness.

It does not take much effort for everyone to eventually know what deceptive people cook up to make people believe that they’ve done good and that they’re the good guy. 

It’s quite tiring keeping up with a “good guy ” persona when you have to keep making up lies upon lies upon lies just to cover your tracks. It’s so much easier telling the Truth or admitting a mistake. It’s easier being an actual good person so you don’t have to make up anything. 

Everyone will eventually know, no matter how hard we try to mask our true selves. So be true to who you are. 

How you make other’s feel, how you react, what you say and how you manage yourself with others is the testimony of your legacy. 

So do as much good as you can, be patient and kind, even in speaking about or to your enemies. 

Do not conjure up a recipe so good just to convince others that you’re the “good guy”. It will only show that you lack humility, even in defeat. If you are defeated, accept it with some grace.

The types of people who sound out so loudly to convince people that they’re the nice guys, portrays their low self esteem and lack of personal confidence of their own character. They thrive on “cheerleaders” from the public to cheer them on in their journey to their imaginary World filled with pride and prejudice.

God is so Great that He will allow the Universe to reveal to the World, the ultimate Truth.

Be sincere, do not harbor hatred and revenge and spread love and goodness. 

For that, you’ll know for sure that your good willed character is what people can vouch for and if you have people who speak unkindly about you or spread untruths, here’s a little something to ponder on. 

When the foolish one speaks, do not reply to him, for better than a response (to him) is silence, and if you speak to him you have aided him and if you left him (with no reply), in extreme sadness he dies. 

– Imam As-Syafie 

Love well, Be kind , Breathe better.

LM 

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