Why do high school cliques grow apart? 

  
Image via mtv.be

Now we all slipped through the cracks some how and made it where we are today. After high school, we sorta stuck around a little and then got busy with our tertiary education, private school and private courses to move on from our not so awesome grades. 

We were a bond that could not break. Unstoppable in fact. The four of us were like magic. 

What happened then, you may ask ? 

Life did. 

As a cohesive unit, we bonded like no other girl group, we laughed out loud at Chandler Bing’s quirkiness, brushed and braided each other’s hair, wore each other’s clothes, crooned to our favorite boy bands, a girl’s bathroom rendition of Spice Girls “When 2 become 1” and even had random sleep overs with a side serving of gossiping about boys. 

We were a pact. 

Then we grew up. One of us got a job first. That would be moi. I went from a Taco Bell serving sour cream girl to working in a World Renown Billion dollar company in 30s flat. I couldn’t even believe I got employed, being 17 and only having thoughts of taking the fast food industry by storm. I never fathomed traveling the World and earning that amount of money at 18. It was like handing a 7yr old a thousand dollar bill and splurging on as much candy I could get my fingers on. 

My girlfriends weren’t estatic, in fact, not a single one of them congratulated me. Only because they were afraid I would change and lose my “phoebe-ish” persona at some point and Lin wouldn’t be the Lin they knew. Not too long, as I grew in the company, I remained being me and they saw that and we stuck together till another chink in the chain occurred. 

One of us was pursued by an “outsider” the group did not prefer. We stood up and warned our girlfriend about our gut feeling and we tried to stop her in some way. Through our “secret meetings”, we plotted on what move we should make to jolt her into realizing that this guy that was pursuing her was indeed a fraud. She ended up lying to us at one point, and that was the event that made us grew apart. The day we found out she had to lie to us , her 3 best friends because of this guy, was the ball that carried a momentum that we never knew would seperate us. 

We lived and embraced with the fact that she was a big girl and that she could fend for herself, so we let her carry on with this guy and continued loving her unconditionally. 

So another member of our Fantastic Foursome contributed in creating conflict in the matter of the distrust that I had with this new guy. She took the side of our dear girlfriend and was obliged to instigate a confrontation when our girlfriend had brought this new guy  to come meet us. 

She blatantly with no respect for the “pact’s” loyalty told this dude that I, your dearest beloved had an issue with him being our this girlfriend’s boyfriend. 

So I took it in, gracefully toned down the convo and gave an explanation loosely to make it sound like I was only thinking for the benefit of this lovely soul sister of mine and indeed we were all very protective of her. 

In the end, this new guy was a scam as I had predicted but the trust between us 4 girls weren’t the same anymore and that was that.

Then MySpace came into my Life and not too long another hip social media platform emerged. It was Friendster, and when it died a natural death, we all got into Facebook and low and behold our best friend created a fake account and added us, “her best friends” on it. 

When questioned why aren’t we on her real account ? She merely denied the fact that that was a real account and thought that she could  convince us that her fake one was the real one. 

We can actually see the friends in her list, it was the people we knew from school and her fake account only had us and some outsiders. I was rolling my eyes at this point. 

 The one that blatantly threw me under the bus at the confrontation with our girlfriend’s bf then became more and more distant and not too long after that, she drifted away and only called on us 4yrs later to inform us that she was getting married. She told me and my now bestie (the sole survivor), that she was getting married in about less than two weeks time (at that time) and she wanted her ladies to attend. 

So here we ladies are wondering. Why are you telling us you’re getting married in less than two weeks, left the group and call us 4yrs later and still claiming that we were her best friends ?

We just couldn’t understand that. You just don’t do that to your best friends, right? 

By this time, the four of us weren’t the gel we used to be anymore. I mean to put it simply, if we were like cartilage in your joints, we wore out due to aging. 

The last time, we all really saw each other was at my wedding with my ex-husband back in 2010. And even then I didn’t know if the other two might show up. 

I never truly knew the exact reason on why we grew apart but I have some clues to what might.

It was dishonesty, distrust and disloyalty. At least for us it was. One of them tried to make amends a few years back but never truly got a sincere answer from her about the separation anyway so that was that. 

She tried at the least but it’s difficult when one could not force out the Truth even if her life depended on it. 

So, even though we all grew out of the anger and frustration phase and the feeling of disgust on the audacity of some actions done, we could still look at each other and smile and carry on with our awesome lives. We had good times and we had bad. Some of us could take positive criticism and some of us just couldn’t. 

But there’s a great take away from this. It’s ok that life happened. People grow apart and that’s okay. We are all adults now and we have forgave and moved on. We are busy being happy in our own beautiful lives. That adolescent phase with this bunch of Nasty Gal hooligans had to happen for a greater more Universal reasonWe had to learn about recognizing friendship and loyalty and our first encounter of letting go of the people we truly love

Through the years, through the ups and the downs, the major events, the moments that matter, Life filtered out the diamond in the rut. 

I never knew I’d ever be that sort of a best friend for her and how she is for me, but we are. We became the unstoppable, the undoubtfully loyal and the undeniable force that stuck together since we were 14 and for that I found a true best friend

I found my love in Julie, and I don’t regret a day of knowing her.

She’s my human. 

Yours truly,

LM 

 

Julie and me at our regular watering hole in our early twenties. How time flies.  

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